As COVID-19 continues to rage across the world, one marginalized group is quickly beginning to die out and nobody seems to be aware that it’s happening.

Vampires have always been among the most persecuted people on the planet, discriminated against for their diet, their nocturnal routines, the tragic skin conditions that prevent them from going out in the sun, and, in some cases, even their sexuality. They’ve faced public slander, they’ve survived multiple attempts at genocide, but now the corona-virus pandemic poses the greatest threat to vampiric existence since Dr. Abraham Van Helsing first submitted his thesis on the proper way to drive a stake into an undead heart.

As more and more humans tend to stay inside their homes, the traditional hunting grounds of the vampire have become deserted, providing minimal sustenance for the Children of the Night. Curfews and lock-downs have only served to exacerbate this tragic situation and many vampires have been driven to eating rats to fill their growling stomachs.

To make matters worse, vampires are very polite individuals and refuse to feed on humans who stay indoors unless they are specifically invited into their potential donors’ homes.

Unlike other known bloodsuckers (politicians, CEOs, etc.), vampires lack the resources to supplement their diet with the suffering of others. The capitalist machine does not provide much in the way of sustenance for the modern vampire and even if it did, many of the undead would rather die again than be caught wearing a corporate suit.

Something must be done, that much is clear. So what can you do to help keep this magnificent species going? Here are some steps that you might consider:

1. Put out welcome mats to let the undead know that yours is a home they can enter at any time.
2. Get rid of all garlic, religious symbols, and holy water from your homes.
3. Send in donations to my PayPal or to my Google Pay number (+91-97420-97269) and I will be sure to pass the money along to any and all vampires I come across.

Remember, your actions could save a whole species from the brink of extinction. So what are you waiting for?